Though the song’s drama is an exception, its moral of losing love and gaining self is the guiding ethos of her third record, Rare. Her anguished soul-searching struck a nerve: “Lose You to Love Me” became Gomez’s first Billboard No. While dropping hints at which supposedly “ Sorry” singer had been dragging her down, Gomez reclaimed her own narrative. The song looks at the ways she lost herself in a relationship and solemnly promises to never make that mistake again. When Gomez shared the ballad “Lose You to Love Me” last fall, it seemed like the work she put into her physical and emotional wellness had clicked. “I just needed to let my old self go,” Gomez told Zane Lowe this month.
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Besides popping up for the occasional movie role or fashion collaboration, Gomez focused on herself. But in 2017, the same year she underwent a risky kidney transplant due to complications from the autoimmune disease lupus, Gomez shared a series of genre-curious singles including the Talking Heads-sampling “ Bad Liar.” After checking the cultural pulse, the then most-followed woman on Instagram logged off, removing herself from the public eye once more. Over the next five years, Gomez’s journey towards emancipation would be challenged by serious struggles with anxiety, depression, and chronic illness that sidelined her music career and threatened her life.